As you may of noticed I’ve so far been fairly positive about my situation!
Day 4 – positivity leaves me!
Not all day, a lovely friend came over to take me for lunch and a coffee, real coffee, did I mention I’m a coffeeholic! Soya cappuccino, I’m in my local coffee shops most days for one, I’ll take my admin or study with me, no distractions and a bit of people watching! I miss that! If only they delivered! Nero’s your missing a trick! Anyway yes lovely lunch and catch up, then back home alone again……..alone!
Alone, I hate that word, I’m single and live alone, sounds like a confession doesn’t it. I’ve always been this way since I left home in my mid twenties! Not through choice, I’d love to share my life with someone, but I don’t, and that’s fine 80% of the time, but other times and when your literally trapped it’s really not fine. I’ve always been independent, headstrong some would say, if I want to do something, get an idea in my head, I want to do it now, not wait for anyone else, I just go ahead alone and do it! I don’t always do my research, I just do, I learn as I go! Basically I don’t really plan, I think on my feet! And normally that works, I’m finding running my own business that I need to plan ahead more! But in my personal life I’m used to just deciding what I want to eat as and when, jumping in the car and going wherever last minute! Now I can’t! And I have no one at home to say pop to the shop for me, I fancy some (fill in with your gave snack)!
This was the evening of day 4! I wanted something different to eat, I then decided to try and build a website! Didn’t go well as you can imagine when your down, in pain and want something nice to eat! Then the tears started, I was alone no one to ask to get me some nice food from the supermarket, and I wanted a cuddle, that’s what I miss to, being single, I needed someone to hold me, and not a meet and greet hug with a pat on the back! I big cwtch (Welsh for cuddle), a big squish and to be told everything’s ok, to feel looked after! As great as modern technology is you don’t get that from a text or Facebook! Plus I hate asking for help, but no one is going to drop everything at 9pm on a Friday night, leave there kids and loved ones to go out to get me goodies and give me a cuddle!……so I got a take away!
Sleep, I seem to get a few hours, til about 1am, then I’m awake til about 5am, it’s not more painful during that time, just uncomfortable! Lots of business stuff going through my head, workouts, online PT and changes to the timetable! Then when I get back to sleep I’ll sleep til 9! Good job I’ve currently stopped my morning sessions!
My lovely hairdresser has been able to fit me in, need a bit of pampering, and the pain doesn’t seem as bad today, getting quicker on my boot and crutches ! Although they kill your hands! I’ve managed to sort a lift to and from, or so I thought! Got to the hairdressers and then I was stranded! But luckily a mate was helping me relocate my kettlebells to make teaching and not driving easier for this 6 weeks, so they were willing to come get me before hand, I am very lucky to have great friends, I’m finding my friends know I won’t ask so just turn up! Haha.
Such a relief to have my kettlebells at the venue I teach from, they are so supportive and understanding, a lot of my clients have offered to take me to class, great commitment, but now at least it’s just me and matts! Not 20 ish kettlebells! They will be picking up. In class I’ve taken to shouting instructions at them, there are few things I can do but they are loving doing demos themselves, which gets them more involved.
I’ve been doing a bit of research as I didn’t get much info from the hospital, but they are extremely busy, so it’s not a problem, we have YouTube! great isn’t it? I’ve been looking up lots of videos about how bones repair, although I’ve done my anatomy you do forget bits! So I’m enjoying the chance to relearn about bones. I love seeing how the body works! Our bodies are truly amazing.
Body alignment – my body is not liking what’s going on. The boot I have on has a wedge on the bottom, at first I was wearing my flat boots, but was getting lots of pain in my opposite glute and hip, because I was so lop sided, so and I had a little fashion show, all my winter boots out to find the one that was the most level when stood up! Now most of the pain has gone, but that side is obviously tighter as it’s taking most of the weight! So lots of stretching to follow! I’ve also started doing some exercise, just core and upper body, body weight stuff, this is not an excuse to let myself go, want to try and keep as much strength as possible whilst being careful.
I have been very honest, that’s me! I tell it how it is, for me, in my world. It’s a massive adjustment but I’m also aware it’s only temporary, I will regain my independence and my strength.